on the intersections of motherhood & writing life
how being multifaceted enriches the inner world & why different identities need each other
“A woman’s creative life can readily become mired beneath the daily duties of motherhood. And yet motherhood can be an invitation to commit ourselves more deeply to our artistic offspring, offering renewed opportunities to trust in our creative potential. Motherhood, with its call to embodiment and authenticity, can provide a deep grounding for meaningful creative endeavors.”
-Lisa Marchiano, Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself
Welcome to Whole Self! Every Sunday, I send out an offering which expands upon a concept related to parts work, embodied poetics, or post-traumatic growth. This is free, so if you subscribe you will receive this.
A brief note on me: my name is Sarah Ann Saeger and I am a licensed IFS therapist, writer, and post-lineage yoga teacher. My mission is to help you embrace the embodied wisdom of your whole self. You can find me on Instagram where I share short-form musings & lessons related to parts work with over 100k followers!
Last, here are some key concepts that can help you if you’re new to IFS:
Internal Family Systems (IFS) - a compassion-focused, evidence-based psychotherapy based on the assumption that healing happens when we seek to be with our internal experience (or inner world of parts) rather than “fix” or “change” it
Part - an inner complex, sub-personality, or version of yourself that exists with an agenda, emotion, job, memory state, somatic sensation, or belief
Self or Self-energy - the awareness that can hold all parts; compassionate, curious awareness; loving presence; awareness without an agenda
Parts work - the practice of healing your parts through witnessing, listening, and supporting them
Happy reading and thank you for supporting my work!
The morning sun inches its way above the neighbor’s tree line as swaying pine boughs in my front yard break up its cascade of light. One sheet of blinds is open to marvel at the morning while the others remain shut to entice my three-week old son to stay asleep beside me for a while longer. Normally, I fall back asleep after his 5 a.m. nursing session but today I had an urge to write, to feel myself collected and held by my own words and the blank space of my journal again.
It’s funny how I perpetually circle around the need for structure with this journal but every time I find it, my creative instincts take over and pull the rug out from under my best-laid plans. Today is a day where these instincts are alive and especially vibrant. They want to taste the marrow of meaning in my life, sink into what matters most and inspires dreaming.
All my life, I’ve chosen entangled lines of work that differ in focus and roles but feed each other creatively, spiritually, and psychologically. From nannying and teaching yoga and Sanskrit in my twenties, to making social media content and working as a therapist in my thirties, everything I do encompasses the full spectrum of who I am. Even before I had the language of parts work, I knew I had to be intentional about finding space for all parts in my life.
I never wanted to be just one thing or specialize in just one area. Breadth is equally important to depth in my inner world. Having different interests not only keeps learning fresh and relevant, but it also allows for cross-pollination of ideas, where concepts can be explored in comparative context. I learned that yoga becomes ascetic without application in other settings beyond the yoga studio, and therapy becomes elitist when it cares more about how it is facilitated in the therapy office than how its lessons are enacted outside of it. Lines of work are meant to mix together and be tested outside of the vacuum of themselves.
Having a multifaceted career also reflects a multifaceted inner world where parts are in touch with their gifts, values, and principles.
Parts that have clarity of vision and passion for their respective roles are strongly connected to Self-energy, or the higher awareness that holds all parts. When parts know what’s important to them, they know who they are, and can move toward their goals with conviction in the outer world. Parts like these are often called Self-like parts in IFS: they reflect qualities of Self such as compassion, creativity, and curiosity, but still are “parts,” mini-aspects or archetypes that are distillations of greater awareness.
When several Self-like parts are online and working together, they aid in each other’s respective missions and work toward a a shared vision for the collective inner world. This shared vision constellates as one’s divine purpose or what Celtic writer John O’Donohue refers to as the “invisible necessity that has brought you here.” Self-like, purpose-driven parts have a multifold focus. They care about expressing their gifts, they care about enriching the tapestry of the inner world, and they care about their relationship to life.
For creatives like myself who are drawn to creative careers and the helping professions, I find that Self-like parts innately understand and respect the importance of having each other via multiple lines of work or personal identities. Currently I am experiencing this by holding the roles of mother and writer. While it is a struggle to balance feeding and caring for a newborn with tasks such as meandering on Substack, crafting Instagram content, and writing a forthcoming IFS self-help book, I find that both roles harmonize rather than deplete each other.
I am a more present mother when I take my writing seriously. Words invigorate my spirit and stimulate my mind. They help me settle into myself, which helps me find more spaciousness and connection as I engage in care work.
I am a more thoughtful writer when I am tapped into my maternal energy. Motherhood is a deep well that requires vigorous engagement with life. Writing is a way of peering into the well, fetching water from it, and nourishing myself through the observations which are crystallized by words.
Writing is essential to metabolize the emotions and insights that spring forth from motherhood. Recording the journey keeps me from rushing through it or disconnecting from it when it presents challenges. Writing adds a splash of the sacred and dash of meaning to my life. What I write down warrants my attention, and thus it matters. My experience as a first-time mom isn’t a role I get lost in when it is brought into the foreground with words.
Mother and Writer are archetypes that enrich each other. These parts reflect what matters most to me: living with eyes and heart wide open and engaging sincerely with the business of being human.
Self-like parts help us discover the joy and awe of living. They deserve sincere acknowledgement and ample spaciousness to carry out their respective missions with bravery.
~S